Friday, March 23, 2007

all the above

Well I told God I was bored and He changed that. Now it's just the waiting. Waiting for Caroline to call about the job, that I really hope I can get. It's so tempting to just go and give Peggy my two weeks notice. Though Momma always said never count your chickens before they hatch. It also hard not to get cocky and prideful. Because I really do feel that this is a road that God is leading me down. Knowing that and then having to wait for it, just makes my attitude change to "I'm gonna be bustin' out of this joint." Doing my job the the best of my abilities becomes even harder. I want to tell people at work that I am leaving, partly because I am excited about it. Though it's also partly because I want them to be jealous of me and say ooooh and aaaaah. It's so Ironic that that in about 3 weeks time I have gone from being totally against the thought of doing things like ABA therapy to being completely set on doing it and even having to fight off the temptations that surround it. All night at work yesterday i found my thoughts going places thy shouldn't. For example Stephanie was showing me how to measure for tuxedos for the the first time in the 2 years since started working there. I kept saying to myself "oh yea great timing to start showing me this stuff" and "Why do I even need to pay attention to this?" I had to correct myself many times. But i am learning i believe that this waiting period is a test for me as well. Actually I know it is. I have been reading on being a "Lady in waiting" and controlling my thoughts instead of vice-versa is one thing that I have to work on. I can be very quiet in my speech, but when it comes to my thoughts they are very out going.

I can say though that I am feeling closer and closer to God everyday and I love it. I find myself being bolder and more willing. I was talking to Julia the other day and she was telling me about someone she has tried to witness to. I said that I hurt more now that ever not just for those that aren't saved but for those that are not living out there potential in Christ.

Well, in other news i am going to be in the market for a "new to me" vehicle pretty soon. I don't want to give up the truck, but even if i was able to pay for another vehicle with out getting some money off of it i would not be able to afford the insurance of both vehicles. So therefor it would just sit in the yard. And that would jut not be fair for a great truck such as that. I think that i am gonna for for something like a Honda or small Nissan car. So that if i do get this new job when i have to drive with kids they can be safe in a back seat. plus i just need something with better gas mileage that a truck right now.

OK so that is it for at the present time.

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